When?

The question that concerns most people who are pursuing a goal is this: When is it going to happen? Asking “when” comes from a desire to know the outcome to achieve a sense of security or so that you may feel motivated by visualizing the fulfillment of your goal. My answer for anyone seeking to make a change, develop a new business or product, or to overcome a great hurdle is that “when” is a natural progression of “what.” What are you doing to affect change? What are the needed pieces of the puzzle, and what are you doing to help bring the puzzle pieces together?

In regards to the other questions—who, where, why, how, and what—the answers are just as simple. You are who. As the title of a Pat Boone song says, “Everything begins and ends with you.” It is you who must take control of the change you seek. Start with you, and the rest will materialize.

Michael Jackson said it best: “I’m starting with the man in the mirror / I’m asking him to change his ways. No message could have been any clearer / if you wanna make the world a better place / take a look at yourself and make a change.”

Where? You begin where you are, the place where you are uncomfortable or unhappy. You don’t wait for you to be somewhere else. Your inspiration is the fact that you are somewhere you no longer want to be. Identify this place as the place to which you do not want to return. Use your situation as the fuel to get your engine started.

Why? Don’t spend too much time thinking about why something occurred; the answer constantly changes as we get more information. Why are you not achieving your goals? There could be a lot of reasons—your health, experience, timing, intellect, race, gender, physical makeup, location, attitude, etc. The interesting thing about why is, we never really know why. “Why” is typically nothing more than a convenient excuse. Sometimes the why is a spiritual intervention and is for your own good. My mother used to tell us, “Yours is not to reason why; yours is just to do or die!”

How? How are you going to do things differently? How are you going to respond? How will you monitor your actions so that you can proceed? The ultimate how—how is this actually going to happen—is not for you to know. How is none of your business. Allow the universe to work in your life, and remember you don’t need to know how babies are born with two ears, two eyes, a heart and skin to protect them from infection. The universe will take care of the how.

What? This is the question that leads to the eventuality of when. What action are you taking? What have you learned so that you do not repeat the same mistakes or same choices? What can you do differently to get a different outcome? What makes you worthy of this goal or dream? What must you do to be worthy? Perhaps educate yourself, humble yourself, change your attitude towards others, or change your habits.

I understand the anxiousness and desire to know when. I feel it myself. Focusing on when is a major distraction. It is akin to focusing on the problem and not the solution. The solution is what. Do all you can do and then do some more. It is all up to the universe, and the universe pays in exact measure. As the Bible says, “You reap what you sow.” When is the unknown that must be anchored in two words—Faith and Hope. When you finally arrive to where you want to be, the question of when, will no longer matter to you.

(I contributed this article to the recently published book, Falling Isn’t Failing – The Five Keys to Overcoming a Fall and Achieving Success for Youth and Young Adults by my son, author/ speaker Rob Roots. )